Rabbi Cooper's Letters

Dear Friends,

A curious passage, found in the Talmud, says the following:

Ben Zoma used to say: what does a good guest say? How much trouble has my host gone to for me! How much meat he set before me! How much wine has he brought me! How many cakes he served me and all the trouble he has gone to for my sake.

But what does a bad guest say? What kind of effort did the host make for me: I have eaten only one slice of bread. I have eaten only one piece of meat, and I have drunk only one cup of wine! Whatever trouble the host went to, was done only for the sake of his wife and children, surely not for my sake. (BT Berachot 58a)

It seems that we have a natural inclination to overlook the goodness and blessings we receive. In the passage above one person focuses on all that has been done, even if the work had been on behalf of others. The good guest expresses gratitude and takes it personally. The other is certain that any trouble his host went to, any goodness she has received, has been incidental, unintentional, a by-product of the goodness done for others. It is here that Thanksgiving, although a secular holiday, has an important Jewish message to teach.

Having endured a very difficult year since the onset of COVID-19, it is easy to focus on all of the negative aspects of this long-term virus. We naturally focus on the inconveniences placed before us. We see obstacles everywhere. Our travel plans have been interrupted. Visits with friends have not been possible. And even a casual dinner at a local restaurant has been out of the question. It is easy to focus on all that has beset us since March.

And yet, here we are, following guidelines which keep us safe, adhering to the guidance of infectious disease experts, so that we can remain healthy and strong. We have homes to shelter us. We have food to sustain us. We have entertainment, including the opportunity to binge watch our favorite shows, at the click of our remote-control devices.

As the Talmud suggests, we have the tendency to ruminate on obstacles, problems, and challenges, as if they have been directed to us personally. Sometimes we need to be reminded that, despite the inconveniences and, even difficult challenges, we have so much for which we should be thankful, so much which should not be overlooked. That is why Thanksgiving is so important.

This year, Thanksgiving will be much more modest than in the past. No large-scale dinners when family and friends gather. This year, we sit around smaller tables, still eating wonderful food, but without the others to share the moment with us. It is easy to see what we are lacking this year. And so, I write to you, and to myself, to remind us to look beyond the obstacles and challenges.

Perhaps more than any Thanksgiving we have celebrated, this year we must celebrate, far more conscious of that which we have than of what we lack. This year we take stock of what is really important: those sitting around our smaller tables who remain healthy and protected. This year we take note of the bounty and beauty around us. And this year's Thanksgiving comes with a blessing attached to it, one which not only gives thanks but one which expresses optimism and confidence that next year things will return to our familiar routines.

My hope is that, even next year, we shall remember this year’s Thanksgiving. For this is the year which provides us with a much-needed perspective. It is the perspective we gain this year which will remind us in the future of just how much we have taken for granted and how much we have for which we should be thankful.

With Gratitude and Thanks,

N

A Thanksgiving Prayer
 

For the laughter of the children,

For my own life breath,

For the abundance of food on this table,

For the ones who prepared this sumptuous feast,

For the roof over our heads,

The clothes on our backs,

For our health,

And our wealth of blessings,

For this opportunity to celebrate,

For the freedom to pray these words

Without fear, in any language, in any faith,

In this great country,

Whose landscape is as vast and beautiful as her inhabitants.

Thank you, God, for giving us all of these. Amen

(Talking to God, Naomi Levy, p. 184)